Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Green Card
OK. To all my pals who've been urging me for the sake of my un-renewed Green Card to go easy on the peddy-gogy and t'inking I taw a bella figure peddy-tat. Great news! Much more official looking than the sissy pink old one. Note, too, that I'm now a Permanent resident and not just a pathetic residentializing 'Alien'. You wouldn't believe the snide chuckles that attracted, altho' in its defence I have to say that a pitying traffic cop was once so amused by the wording and my John Cleesian accent that he handed the card back with an: OK, move on Mr Holmes, and remember that in this country we drive on the *left* hand side-" "You mean the *right* side, officer?" "What'd I just say? Heck, now you've got me at it ...." Ideal for that blond joke I recently got rapped over the knuckles for circulating to my fiercer feminist pals: Speaking of Peddy-morphism, lots of lovely examples from you, including To be strictly fair and funny, I'm more on the lookout for *double*-'d' variations, altho' I break my own rule left and right. My privilege.
My card is in, and very handsome it is, too."I always thought you guys were outta left field but I didn't know it was official.
Very weird reverse side: it has the 'Permanent Resident Card' titling, and then just a completely reflective surface, ideal for helio-graphing passing planes when stranded on that desert island. Blond is pulled over by equally blond cop. Fumbles for licence, but has to ask what it looks like. Is told its dimensions at which she pulls out a small vanity mirror and proffers it up. Blond cop gives it a glance and hands it back, "Uh, ok, didn't realize you were a cop."
I wonder what my chances would be with the next burly airport official to check me out, if I waited til he'd inspected the reverse side and then piped up, "Bet you never guessed I was an Immigration officer, too!"
