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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Water

I've blogged earlier on the curious behavior of Minol, the company that monitors my water consumption and sends me such quaint billings.

When I first took 3-weeks leave to visit my folks abroad, I returned to a heftier bill than if I'd actually been in situ.

Three years later when I profited from a whole 7 weeks away, I had to wonder if it'd've cost me less if I'd left the shower running and offered a tap for watering the condo's entire lawnage.

In fact, I personally adjusted my payments to reflect what I felt I didn't owe and, despite veiled threats over my credit standing, still haven't coughed up full payment, nor seen it reflected in my credit reports.

Now I'm packing to leave, and contacting the various utilities, including advance notice to Messrs Minol with a gentle reminder of previous odd behavior and assurance that, once ensconced in my shepherd's cottage in distant Nissaki, I shall be far too busy tending my flock and ripping off rich tourists to convert my paltry Euro shekels into Yankee dollars to pay for precious water I've long since ceased consuming.

The hitherto unresponsive Minol CS dept has been stirred to increasingly urgent and threatening emails, to which I've replied with my usual dithering helplessness.

The best I've been able to come up with is a contact address of Spiros Vassiliou, capo di capi of Corfu's underworld.

The funny thing is that they'll probably get paid for whatever they bill for the next 10 years:

Spiros is such a jet-setting villain, and runs so many mistresses worldwide, that he'll probably assume it concerns the bubble baths of one of his honeys he's set up in a Bainbridge love-nest and pay the damn'd thing rather than have his wife stumble across a final demand and cause greater grief than just paying the wretched bill.


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