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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Genesis

~ The Oz Version ~

While we're getting our knickers in a twist over Intelligent Kwanzamatics and the rest of the howz-yer-father, here just in from my homie in the Land of the Eucalyptus is a vaguely amusing take on how it all began for the beaut folks who brought us Don Bradman, Ned Kelly, Barry Humphries and, of course, Crocodile Dundee.

Some of the nuances might slip by Stateside readers but the basic ocker humor shines thru.

Genesis Down Under

In the beginning God created day and night.
He created day for footie matches, going to the beach and BBQs.
He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQs.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.
On the Second Day, God created water - for surfing,
Swimming and BBQs on the beach.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.
On the Third Day, God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.
On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans
For chops,sausages, steak and prawns for BBQs.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came! and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.
On the Fifth day, God created a Bloke - to go to the footie,
Enjoy the beach, drink the beer
And eat the meat and prawns at BBQs.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.
On the Sixth Day, God saw that the Bloke was lonely
And needed someone to go to the footie, surf, drink beer,
Eat and stand around the barbie with.
So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes.
And God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.
On the Seventh Day, God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires,
Heard the hiss of opening beer cans
And the raucous laughter of all the Blokes,
Smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns
And God saw that it was good ... well almost good.
He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children,
Wash, cook, and clean the BBQ.
And God saw that it was not just good, it was better than good:
It was Bloody Brilliant!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!!!

One of the responses I received was from a pal in Perth, OZ:

"A mate of mine had a Girlfriend who said to him one morning, "If you don't have something wrapped up for me out the front tomorrow, Christmas morning, that goes from 0-150 in 5 seconds, I'm out of here!!!"

Out she went next morning, and there was a lovely big wrapped package with a beautiful bow around it.

She excitedly opened it and there inside was ... A brand new set of bathroom scales!!"


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