Friday, December 30, 2005
Merry Kwanzaa, baas!
"A lunatic blend of schmaltzy '60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism." - Coulter
The first time I came across this "kwanzaa " buffoonery was in December 1995 and I remember just bursting out laughing at what was clearly an hilarious and deserved spoof on everything the Political Correctitude crowd was pushing at us. I had no idea when or by whom this cruel parody had been dreamed up but I wished it had been launched in proper fashion by its true spiritual brethren, those mischievous Monty Pythons. I admit to some alarm when a few days later I chanced on a Hallmark emporium and saw that some wide-boy with an eye to a quick dollar had even churned out cards for the bogus occasion. Indeed, just as impressive was the deadpan copy, resisting the more obvious clownish quips and steering clear of even the lightest shade of racism. We'd come from Hong Kong where everyone's too busy making wads of money to waste time on satire, but this was too good not to share, so I snapped up a bunch of the more colorful straight-faced examples and fired them off to my pals and family born under sunnier skies, not forgetting my divine Filipina sister-in-law and her many and jocular siblings. Much hilarity and admiration all round. Believe you me, it took some time - and no little control of facial muscles - for it to sink in that there are many out there who not only miss the basic joke of the whole scheme but remain to this day unaware (if not disbelieving) of the blatantly cynical roots of "kwanzaa ". Now comes the fierce-eyed and alluring Ann Coulter to blow the cover on this whole farce by revealing that it is indeed nothing more than an invention courtesy of the FBI. What a hoot. All together now, to the tune of 'Jingle Bells':Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell,
Whitey has to pay,
Burning, shooting, oh what fun
On this made-up holiday!
Addendum:
And this is where the enemies of Kwanzaa fall flat. I mean how could you not see that huge softball teed up and not take a swing. What is Kujichagulia and why is that Anti-American? Well, Kugjichagulia is Self-Reliance. Oops, can't go there. How about Ujimaa? Well, that's Collective Work and Responsibility. Hmmm. Can't really knock that. How about Umoja (Unity), Kuumba (Creativity). Imani (Faith), Nia (Purpose).. Damn, strike six. All anyone can really point an accusatory finger at is Ujamaa, the little Marxist problem child of Kwanzaa. But when you really look at where Marxist and socialist influence comes from in American politics, it ain't Kwanzaa. So there's a bit of a chicken and egg problem here. Simply stated, Democrats are more influential on black politics than Kwanzaa, so tearing down Ujamaa (which most Americans have never even heard of) is kind of a non-starter, propaganda-wise.
Therefore the criticism of Kwanzaa can't get most of its weight from the substance of Kwanzaa itself. Much better to go after Karenga, a convicted felon. http://www.mdcbowen.org/cobb/archives/005050.html
