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Monday, October 17, 2005

Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

This year's 2005 winners:

  1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  12. Karmageddon: Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
  15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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