busker

Blotteria

Honestly, if I ever put together a guide for visiting, wildlife-snapping Brits, I'll call it "Everything I know about Island life, I blagged from Police Blotters."

Our excellent Bainbridge Islander chalked up some recent pointers.

• Driver observed "crossing over the centerline ... appeared intoxicated and would not submit to sobriety tests or breath sample ... transported to office for 'further investigation' ... determined he was not over legal limit ... released and given ride home."
  • How many times have I heard *that*??
• It was only recently I learned that - by law - one can't actually overtake a stationary school bus.

  It does make sense and that little indicator bat that drops down makes it pretty obvious not to proceed just by blocking some of the view. Still ....

• Mary Jane and Alcohol: Subject observed "crouched near some bushes ... open beer at his feet ... civil infraction for alcohol in public."
  • Well, knock me down with a feather! I'd say that 80% of my liquid luncheons have been enjoyed al fresco. Come of think of it, some pals and I once contemplated actually *on* that contentious High School/Madison roundabout. Imagine it: peanuts, olives, tequila martinis ... and the entertainment of a constantly encircling carousel of commuters, brows furrowed, knuckles white on wheel. Now that I learn that booze is banned in public, just as well for all that bushy camouflage ... it might have saved us from Smokey's eagle eye.

    But back to my outdoor glugging. I'm amazed to have got this far without some spoilsport shoving the rule book under my nose:

    • My luncheon flagon of Vouvray and seafood salad down on Waterfront Park.
    • Evening Lagavulins on the benches on the Green.
    • A bottle or two of Tsingtao ... oh, any and everywhere ... whenever the fancy took me.
    • Life-affirming Pimms on the Pavilion piazza.
    • As for genial puffing of exotic cheroots, I'm certainly not ponging up the refectory with grade C Baguio 'skunk'.
      • Not speaking of which, I see we've taken a hit over the *medicinal* maajun.
      .

Printer's Note: this post set in Perpetua, the closest pun I can find to 'perp'.