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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

American English as she is spoke

Mike Houser's fine CasdraBlog links to an intriguing test of the American English I speak.

Altho' my English accent has, if anything, got even plummier since moving to the US, I never stop absorbing and adopting new vocabulary that takes my fancy or just plain gets the job done, so I was keen to see how well I've adapted.

Before going into my score, two questions stumped me:

The act of covering a house or area in front of a house with toilet paper is called ...

Say WHUUTT? (to borrow from my host country's vernacular). The act of what?

I have never even heard of such a jape. Seriously? Someone swathing a house in bog bumpf?

And there's an actual VERB for it? I see. Well, and is there also a verb for smearing my enemy's satchel with chunky peanut butter mixed with Hershey's genuine chocolate flavor syrup? Or the act of draping spaghetti around the spokes of my ex-wife's mountain bike?

I'm also asked What do I call "an easy class", the possible answers being

  • A crip course
  • A gut
  • A blow off (which sounds terribly rude)
Well, I'm not sure what I call an 'easy class' - I'm not even sure what's *meant* by an easy class? A lesson in which one understood everything? In which the professor asked no nasty questions?

I dunno - A breeze? A cinch? A doddle? A push-over?

Now, the moment you've all being waiting for: My Linguistic Profile:

  • 50% General American English
  • 25% Yankee
  • 20% Dixie
  • 5% Upper Midwestern
  • 0% Midwestern (phew, right?)
I love the Dixie rating. I might even email my score to Karen-Jo in case it'll lure her back from her folks' spread in Ralegh. Or her brother who so rudely described us as sounding like Jeeves making out with Miss NASCAR. Hrrmmph.

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