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Tuesday, March 01, 2005


Top Team Terror Tactic

There are so many comedians in the
Homeland Security
playpen, I'm not surprised to see them at last taking a tip from the world of comic book marketing.

After all, doesn't their continued employment depend on us taxpayers staying focused and spooked?

What do the great graphic doodlers do when they sense public interest flagging in the caperings of their latest baddie du jour? Yes, indeed, they whip up an unholy alliance of *mega* mega-villains against whom the world cannot *possibly* survive - or at least not resist forking out for the next dramatic instalment.

Which brings us to today's "shock" announcement and the clues that something show-bizzy is afoot with the Dark Side.

I'm not going to do my Homeland homies' work for them, but I don't mind sprinkling a few clues:

  • In a few weeks' time, when all this Zarqawi-Laden excitement is revealed as just so much vapo-rumor, we'll need a convincing reason for how the 'devilish duo' evaded our every cautionary tactic.
  • Easy answer: they had inside help. Obvious. Yep, a mole in the White House ... is this not the stuff of which news editors dream?

    A treacherous White House plant tipping off our turbanned teamsters of turmoil each sinful step of the way. Remember how the would-be assassin in Day of the Jackal kept one step ahead?

  • Maria Full of Grace: Catalina MorenoThen, when that bit of nonsense is discredited, I suggest a mini-hullabaloo about someone smuggling state secrets out for the amusement of OBL and his Saudi sidekicks.

    And *who* is our current favorite babe smuggler? Who's mug-shot may already be in every police station in the land ?

    None other than the SeƱorita of Swoon, the deliciosa Catalina Sandino Moreno, whose role in Maria Full of Grace taught her exactly how to sneak in and out with the goodies.

    Mark these words: they won't be any more fanciful than the official output.

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