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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Bobby Blotter 3/30

Two splendid examples in the Review Police Blotter

  • 3/25, 1510 hrs: Driver stopped for seat belt violation, reeking of hooch, pretends to the rozzer it's only been two beers, later relents and 'fesses up to 7.

    Nicked for DUI.

  • Why is it always *two* beers that people pretend to? Show me a man on his second beer and I'll show you a stalwart just getting in his stride. I don't think I *know* anyone who flags after only two gulps - hardly worth starting if one's going to lose interest so soon and go beetling off in the jalopy.
  • Like the fuzz in the blotter report, I too would be suspicious of that 2 x beer line. Curiously lacking in stamina, for one thing.

  • 3/25, 1626 hrs: Dept of slight Paranoia:

    Gent perched at Madison/High School (the roundabout?) is uncouthly honked at by passing driver. Shock horror. To boot, the klaxonier had a restraining order out on him.

    Carabinieri informed, of course, who traced the honker who said he was bleeping at someone else. Peace restored, no arrests.

    • Hells bells - poor fuzz if they're reduced to this level of investigation.
    • Reminds me of arriving at a single-prop airfield in Oz's Northern Territory and waiting for customs inspection. Making to jot a few notes, I heard a stentorian strine bellow:

      horn"Oi - you! ... Can't you bloody read?" (Pointing to a "No Photographs" sign)

      "No photographs means no writing!"

    "Restrained" means no honking.

  • Comments:
    my job is to keep track of DUII people. what they really mean
    "1 beer" 3-4
    "2 beers"4-6 beers and a shot
    "3 beers" 6-10 beers and 2-3 shots
    it is like the old "how many people you slept with..." some lie to sound like less of a whore, some lie to seem morelike a loser, except they are drunken idoits
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