busker

SANS MAQUILLAGE

"Stars without makeup!", screamed the storyline in a recent Star magazine ('America's Best Selling Celebrity Weekly").

I'm standing in a slow queue - well, it was moving perfectly smoothly til I joined - and the old biddie being served is taking Ciara thru each coupon and accusing her of conveniently 'forgetting' many others.

The Sue Sarandon lookalike behind me riffles thru the Star and I peer over her shoulder and comment that, yikes, is *that* what Britney looks like bare-faced. She laughs and we conduct our own poll:

• Kate Hudson - looks good without
• Pam Anderson - duude!
• Lindsay Lohan - say what? So that's what that majeure bébé looks like - bleaggh
• Kirstie Alley - gross, get back down it, ya bag lady
• Lisa Marie - yeh, well ok - just
• Teri Hatcher - not bad
• Shannen Doherty - hey that babe so hot, it'd be hard for her to look bad with leprosy
• Liz Hurley - lousy actress, great complexion
• ... Alicia Silverstone - even better without
• Tori Spelling, Kelly Clarkson, Goldie - well, she's old as the hills - Courtney - all terrible
• But special badge of dishonor for the utterly wrecked Whitney Huston, oh man