busker

Pat downs and Bungles

As the hours tick by for my Europe jaunt, my eye naturally devours every new variation on the terror overkill theme to which we currently dance.

• Altho' I have my traveling wardrobe planned to exclude belt, laces, metallica of ny kind, inflammatory objects or pamphlets, I just *know* I shall be singled out for THE most intrusive of "pat downs"
• That Mr Ridge? Thank goodness he did the decent thing. Those Belt way folk aren't always quick on the uptake when it comes to taking hints, but robotic Tom seems to have known his duty, and not a moment too soon.

  I suppose it's too much to hope for his obvious successor, the telegenic and soignée Frances Fragos Townsend? If the nucular Bush could organise himself in time, it'd make for a cool Dec 28 birthday announcement.

• Ashes with the knickers: You know? It doesn't surprise me one bit that those TSA goons prised open that guy's ashes. This is absolutely typical of the level at which those people operate and this won't be the worst or last incident of this kind. I'm just pondering on what innocent item *I* might be able to turn up with so as to depart Seatac in a blaze of microphones and press coverage.
• $$ Holler: I'd better not leave in too argumentative frame of mind, lest I *arrive* that way and miss a beat in my vital groveling Uriah Heep number. Duude! Have you seen the subterranean depths to which the Mighty Dollah has plummeted?
  
  By Hermes! If I'm to escape humiliation and bankruptcy of changing my puny $$ into €uros and δrachmas, and instead sponge off kin while I'm there, I'm going to have to be AWWWfully nice to Mama and that stalwart brother of mine. Shame; some of our best bondings have been during white-knuckled, grappa-fulled exchanges in the wee hours.
• While on the subject of flight and security, my heart goes out to the Ebersol family over the tragic loss of 14-yr old Teddy.

  But you know what touched me most? That burly official in the 'Coroner' jacket (Mark Young, I see his name is) announcing discovery of Teddy's body, but with tears welling and a crack in his voice as he ended with a "May God rest his soul."

Usually, these guys in emblazoned jackets, they deliver a stony-faced announcement, end with the dead-pan formality of sympathy for the family, and that's it.

You're a good man, Mr Young.