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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Brosnan in the Bahamas

Au Pav' for an evening of cinematic pap starring the stubbly Brosnan in a romp After the Sunset.

I'm sorry we won't be seeing him again as Bond; he was a good 007 and by no means paled against Connery's perfection.

His Celtic bio rolls romantically off the tongue: Pierce Brendan Brosnan, Drogheda, County Louth; lived in Navan, County Meath.

Alas, full enjoyment of the movie was impaired by the presence of Latina scorcher Salma Hayek, whom I suspect to be lacking in humour and who, despite that voluptuous body, nowadays reminds me of her stalwart countrymen who do such good work with those leaf-blowers, keeping our lawns and public thoroughfares clear.

If fact, I know Ms Hayek travels lite in the humor department from the risible example that appears in 'Amusing Quotes'.

My offensive remark about leaf-blowing dates back to Ms Hayek's complaint to the pusillanimous editor of Vanity Fair over a whimsical remark by Dame Edna Everage in her column for the society rag.

Dame Edna - world famous Australian housewife - is the titled alter ego of fellow Oz and equally talented Mr Barry Humphries.

The remark that so offended the dusky spitfire was absolutely characteristic of La Everage, typical of her waspish humour, and exactly what her world-wide readership and theatre audience wants and expects.

The question of Spanish language lessons had come up and, as befits one of Dame E's regal station and general Australian-ness, she was wondering in print how useful the skill could be when the only native speakers she knew were the aforesaid leaf-blowers. Damn'd perceptive remark, I'd say; funny, to boot. Not something I'd try in print, mind you, but then I'm not Moonee Ponds aristocracy.

Anyway, without pausing to check, the busybodying Ms Hayek held an impromptu (and conveniently self-serving) press conference for the usual pack of simpering devotees where she railed against imagined slights, as a result of which VF readers lost an extremely witty columnist.

What makes Ms Hayek's dimwitted indignation so mis-placed is that the Edna Everage column was no more serious than this silly 'Busking' blog, in which I defy anyone to spot even a scintilla of sincerity or po-faced Truth.

Happy post-script: Not that my cinematic promenade was completely ruined by the cleavaged cutie from Coatzacoalcos.

JLo to ELO: Imagine my astonished pleasure to suddenly hear the Electric Light's catchy "Evil Woman" pumping out as part of the plug for Monster-in-Law.
"The love life of Charlotte Honeywell (Jennifer Lopez) is reduced to an endless string of disastrous blind dates, until she meets the perfect man, Kevin (Michael Vartan). Unfortunately, his merciless mother (Jane Fonda) will do anything to destroy their relationship."
Looked good, and so did JLo ....

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