busker

Cry Babies

(versus Halloween Wets)

Who shall cast the first stone?

Hapless Boris Johnson - editor of the Speccie - speaks out against the recent pathetic blub-fest by some uncharacteristically drippy Liverpudlians.

I don't know why Johnson thinks he used outdated stereotypes - if anything, it's the stiff upper-lipped son of Albion that's outdated and the garment-renting 'let it all hang out' drip who now represents us. Makes one blush for ones country.

And I'll tell you when this American-style public mewling and emoting began: 17 June 1998, when Boston-based babysitter Louise Woodward beat the murderess rap and was allowed to fly home. TV viewers round the world were treated to the pathetic spectacle of grown Britishers - northerners, to boot, not even pooftah southerners - losing all control and flinging their arms round each other in the sort of bawling spectacle more expected from soccer players or a pack of continentals.

But who are we to mock? The good teachers of Puyallup also set a fine example of maturity and common sense: no Halloween knees-ups this year; don't want to offend any real witches out there ....

This sort of craven nonsense joins the 'Freedom Fries' file and will be gleefully reported round the world. You read it here first.