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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

T'error alert

Your country needs me.

Dubya's swingmeisters have it right: keep the populace skeered and on your toes til election time so you daren't swap guardians.

Timing, media savvy and a genial acquaintance with the truth is called for. I have impeccable credentials, having recently been licensed by Parthenon Inc, my alma mater of the past 6 years, to freely explore new job opportunities.

First off, acknowledge the enemy noun 'terrorism' with endless cunning, able to pounce at any moment but liable to change plans at the first inkling that the forces of good have rumbled them.I have over 10 years' experience in the puffery business, an active imagination and literary skills sufficient to transform even the most pedestrian report into breathless prose. I was going to use 'deathless' but of course death*ful* is the required threatening resonance here.

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