busker

Average Trumps

I have at last reached that nadir plateau whereat I can be unashamedly hooked on trashy TV:

I tell you, Donald Trump and The Apprentice will be the biggest thing on TV. It has everything:

• Foxy exec-ettes versus dullard Y-chrom MBAs on highly humorous tasks set by the charismatic Trump whose ratings will soar, not that he needs them higher, but what an ego trip for old papyrus jowels with the bizarre bouffant.
  
• The ladies are feral and argumentative to a producer's dream - but totally focused when the job's to be done. Once they sort out their spats, they will be a killer team.
• Omarosa, the bossy black gal, is a pain in the ebony crevice but will be an ace lightning rod for rest to rally and attend to business.
  
• With the totally alluring Katrina to pout and shimmy, how can they go wrong?
  
• The men - oh dear, them - are locked in MBA-speke and it'll be a while til they sort themselves out in anything resembling teamplay.


• The editing is brilliant - flick flick flick - back n forth between the teams as they rush about their mission.
  
• Catch phrase of the year? Trump's "This is a hard one" as he executes that effeminate right-hand dart-flicking movement and announces "You're fired."
  
• Digression note: Through no talent of my own, I once spent a few years on the fringe of a south London criminal element and the more senior one went, the slighter the gestures and softer the tone, all the while delivering horrific instructions or pronouncements.
  
• The incompetent Sam is *so* pathetic that if The Donald hasn't already decided, I bet the producers if not viewers' mail, have clinched his place in the show. He surpasses wetness or savoir faire. A real keeper.
  

Average Joe in Hawaii

Brainless babe acts polite to a bunch of unexciting plonkers.

• Perfectly cast pert Melissa Meek is the ideal temptress for these dorks to cosy up to. Most of the lads aren't *that* bad but there's a soul-searching fatty and a poetic wet with such appalling hair that the cruel producers must have crowed when they saw him in the applicant line-up.
  
• We've had the dates and the sauna, all ace opportunities for the lads to reach over and man-handle the doe-eyed Melissa in the way Le Bon Dieu intended that angular body to be treated, but of course zilch! We're talking losers who've never been near such pneumatic bliss, and nor she with such low caliber hunklessness.
  
• Enter a bunch of vrai adonises and as the camera panned, the expressions were a hoot:

  Despairing confusion on the faces of les averageurs; smugness on the faces of les hunks; delightfully lusty smirk on La M's eminently kissable features.
  
  My bet is that the hunks are a leetle over-confident. Les A are 100% correct in their fears